


you're safe.

by tiredwriting



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spiderman - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Peter Parker, Other, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Precious Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 04:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18985687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiredwriting/pseuds/tiredwriting
Summary: “We won… we won, but why does it feel like we lost?”The rest of the world seemed to have moved on, so why couldn't Peter?





	you're safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Panic attack warning, read at your own risk.

“We won… we won, but why does it feel like we lost?” Peter chokes out. Peter collapses on his knees and feels his lungs failing him. They had won, but why did it hurt so much?

1 year later

The snap was reversed a year ago. Peter learned to deal with the constant guilt and grief that has slowly been eating off his sanity. Each day he had to pass Tony’s statue on his commute to school and see his gaze watching over New York City. He feels Tony’s stone cold gaze looking directly at him everyday as a constant reminder of that day, but he’s grown to ignore it.

Peter sulked on his way to first period, just trying to get through the day as fast as possible. He walked into his U.S. History class and sat in the back, wishing Ned had the same period as him. “Okay before I start class, I just wanted to say that it’s been a year since the reverse of the snap. We need to remember the sacrifice and the great battle that the Avengers and Wakandan forces that fought for our lives…” his teacher’s voice drifted away and the dull, gray classroom suddenly started to fade away.

Peter’s spidey instincts kicked in full blast. He was instantly back in the Avengers Compound battlefield grasping the gauntlet with his dear life. “No, no, no, n-no…” Peter’s voice faltered. He felt the smoke slowly starting fill up his lungs, the dust clinging to his sweaty and bloody skin, his aching muscles screaming at him to rest but he couldn’t. The sounds from the battle started to ring in his ears. Peter backed up against on what he thought was a block of concrete. He started to claw at his hair and wrapped his knees tight to his chest.

This can’t be happening again, please, Peter thought.

Peter rocked back and forth as a way to comfort himself, but it wasn’t working as well as he hoped. He felt his vision starting to get blurry and it was starting to get harder to pump in oxygen into his lungs.

“-ey Peter, Peter?” He heard a distant voice calling his name. Before he could respond, Peter blacked out.

____________________

Peter woke up to bright fluorescent lights in his eyes. “Hey Peter, hey you’re in the health room at school.” he hears a lady’s voice say. He looks around confused, “W-what happened?” Peter asks, his voice strained. “You had a panic attack in the first period and fainted. You were passed out for three hours, it’s sixth period now. I recommend you stay here until an adult can pick you up, okay?” The lady explains.

Peter feels himself trembling when the memories of the attack start surging back into his brain. He stands up from the bed, “It’s okay, I can go to sixth period. I’m better now.” Peter states. “Are you sure? I really recommend you stay here for the rest of the day.” The nurse repeats again. Peter was paranoid and frantic for the rest of the school day but at least he survived.

Peter came home and it felt like he could finally breathe. “Peter? Peter is that you?” He hears May’s voice calling from the other room. “Yeah Aunt May it’s me,” Peter responds. May emerges from her bedroom in a distraught state and walks up to Peter, “I’m so sorry Peter, I just got all the messages from school. I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to pick you up, are you alright?” May blurts out worriedly. “Yeah May, I’m fine, don’t worry,” Peter tries to reassure her. He gulps down his guilt, ‘shit I made May worried’.

May pulls Peter into a hug, “Okay, I want you to know that you can always talk to me alright? I will always be here for you, Peter. I don’t know all the details of what you had to go through but I’m here okay? You’re not alone. You don’t have to go through this alone.” May says in a caring tone.

Peter didn’t know he was holding his breath until he let out a suppressed sob as an exhale. Everything he kept held in for so long finally escaped from their cages and were set free. His legs suddenly gave free and was held up against May’s body. “I’m sorry May, I’m-I’m so sorry,” Peter whimpers. “Oh honey, let’s sit down alright?” May comforts Peter and leads them to the couch. Once they were sitting on the couch, May wrapped her arms tightly around Peter.

To May, Peter was suddenly a frightened, fragile, eight year old kid again who just woke from recurring nightmares. Her heart felt heavy to witness Peter hurting like this again. A kid can only take so much, and she wished that she could soak up all his pain like a sponge so he didn’t have to suffer like this anymore. But she knew she couldn’t. All she could do at this moment was to comfort Peter and give him the physical comfort that he needed for him to feel safe. _Safe._

“Every time I see his face, I just feel like a disappointment. He d-died and I feel like I am constantly failing him. Everyday, every single day since he died is just reasons building up of how I am completely useless and broken without him. I don’t know what to do anymore, May I don’t know what to do!” Peter’s voice breaks on his last sentence and lets out another string of broken sobs.

May feels her heart break even more from Peter’s revelation. Her heart yearns for him and the gaping hole in his heart that seems impossible to fill. She holds his shaking frame even tighter in fear that he’s going to fall apart on his own. “I know how hard this is for you and I understand. But I swear to god, Peter you are not a failure, you are not a useless or a disappointment.” May says tearfully. “You are me and Ben’s nephew, you’re Ned’s best friend, you’re spiderman, and most importantly you were Tony’s mentee. And I know he was _so proud_ of you, Peter.” May says and gives Peter a tearful smile.

Peter gives May a small smile and felt tears well up in his eyes but for an entirely different reason.

For the first time in a while he finally felt like he can breathe.


End file.
